guinness world records man: sir you have done nothing but do pushups from this one spot for 20 years with no rest. what drives you?
me, still doing pushups: i wanna push this planet out of the idiot solar system and into the horrifying abyss of the unknown universe and this is the only way I know how
world records man, in awe: [drops everything and instantly begins doing pushups next to me]
1 skeleton = 1000000 skelegrams

I’m a screw up. And I plan to be a screw up until my late twenties, maybe even my early thirties.

fatphrodite:

#ThatsHowIUsedToDrawBirds

lameboob:

when babies are crying really loud and won’t stop and their parents aren’t doing anything about it

image

livessweetdreams:

So let’s run free and carry on,

Like we did when we were Young.

dasfreefree:

i couldn’t make this up even if i tried

shouldnt:

Ariana Grande sounds like a font on Microsoft Word

sixeyedandmagic:

awesomephilia:

even jesus pooped

Holy shit

boylarva:

randomlovesawkward:

HE THINKS HE’S AMBULANCE

I CANT HANDLE ANYTHING RIGHT NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY SITUATION THE DOG IS WOUWUOWUOUWOUW AND IM CRYING MY TEARS IM DROWNING

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